Alcohol / Girls

Ladies’ Drink

Marami kang puwedeng malaman tungkol sa tao kung titingnan mo ang klase ng inuming paborito niya. Kung mahilig siya sa tsaa, malamang Chinese siya or lola or Chinese na lola. Kung mahilig siya sa kape, malamang sanay siya sa puyatan o security guard siya. Pag lumabas ka on a weekend, subukan mong obserbahan ang mga tao sa paligid mo. Iba-iba ang iniinom ng mga yan. May umiinom ng beer, may umiinom ng cocktail at may umiinom ng hard liquor. (Pero kung may makita kang umiinom ng gin bilog, pag-isipan mong mabuti kung saan ka gumigimik ha?)

Kung oobserbahan mo ang mga babae, marami kang malalaman tungkol sa kanila based sa alcoholic beverage na hawak nila. Pero hindi ito blog post tungkol sa paglalasing sa babae para madali niyo silang mabola. This is basically what I think of the different personalities of women based on their alcoholic drink of choice.

Wala nang paligoy-ligoy pa, simulan natin sa paborito ng karamihan…

1. Beer

Kung sana lahat ng babaeng umiinom ng San Mig Light kamukha ni Sam Pinto, wala nang gulo sa mundo.

Maraming klase ng beer. Pero sa Pilipinas ngayon, mapabata o matanda, mapalalaki o babae, makikita mo sa kahit saang inuman na hawak nila ang San Mig Light. Dahil nga sikat, ito rin ang pinaka-madaling i-order na beer sa mga restaurants at bars kasi parating available.

Pero ano nga ba ang San Mig Light? According to their advertisements, San Mig Light is supposed to taste the same as San Miguel Pale Pilsen but without the added calories. It’s supposedly made from similar ingredients. It’s what San Miguel markets as the “guilt-free” beer because you can party all-night without worrying about your calories.

Pero seryoso lang, naka-tikim na ba kayo ng Pale Pilsen at San Mig Light? MEDYO malayo ang lasa! Parang diluted na kalawang ang San Mig Light. Tapos ilalagay mo pa sa yelo. Parang diluted na kalawang na nilagyan ng maraming tubig. Sarap!

So why do some women still drink this awful tasting excuse for a beer when you have other options? If you’re going to go with “because it has less calories”, do you even know how much calories you’re actually saving up?

From here on, you can probably guess what type of women drink this. These are mostly the women who just wants to drink what everybody else drinks. While at the same time, they also might have this misconception that it won’t get them as drunk as regular beer.

Mali hawak mo iha, sa nguso mo dapat itutok yung beer

Kadalasan ang makikitang mong umiinom nito ay mga dalagang nasa kolehiyo (or god forbid, high school). Ito kumbaga ang “gateway” beer ng karamihan sa mga babae. But if there is one good thing about this beer, ito ay kung nasa bar ka at naghahanap ng good time. Bakit? There’s a study that beer drinkers are likely to have sex on the first date.

In fact, both men and women who were either homosexual or straight and also like the taste of beer are 60 percent more likely to sleep with someone on the first date, according to Harvard graduate and co-founder of OKCupid dating website Christian Rudder. (Medical Daily. Christine Hsu, 2012)

Hindi ko sinasabing porke’t umiinom ng beer ay mas madali mong machichicks. Ang sinasabi lang nito ay relatively speaking mas open sila sa sex on the first date. Kaya kung yan ang klaseng babae na hanap mo, alam mo na kung ano ang dapat hanapin. Hindi yung malaking boobs pare, yung babaeng may hawak na bote ng beer sa kamay.

What I think of women who drink beer are saying:

“Dude, see o I’m drinking beer! I’m just like you! Let’s take a picture of us with our beer bottles and post it on Instagram!”

2. Cocktails

Magpakitang gilas ka at paghaluin ang 3 sa isang baso. Lagyan ng straw at singhutin.

Dahil napansin nilang dumadami na mga babaeng manginginom, hindi nakakagulat na dumadami na rin ang mga alcoholic drinks na pambabae. Nagiging uso na ang mga “cocktails in a bottle” kung tawagin at isa na nga rito ang Tanduay Ice by Asia Brewery Inc. (na tila hinango sa Smirnoff Ice). Bago lang ang Tanduay Ice and even more recently, they launched two new flavors, the Red Mirage and the Blue Illusion.  Personally, it tastes okay (yung original citrus lang) at sa totoo lang, pwede nga itong maitawag na “beer alternative”.

But what is it even made of? All we know is it has 5% alcohol and tastes like juice. Quoting from the official website:

It’s an alcomix that combines premium quality spirits and refreshingly different fruit flavors with the right amount of kick because of its 5% alcohol content.

Hindi man lang sinabi kung ano yung mga prutas na ginamit! Paano pala kung guyabano na yang iniinom o katas ng langka? Gayunpaman, marami pa ring babae ang nahuhumaling dito kasi wala yung natural na “pait” ng beer pero may tama pa rin.

Dahil sumisikat na nga ang Tanduay Ice, nagkaroon na rin ng sagot ang San Miguel; Antonov Vodka Mixed Drinks. Iba’t ibang flavors din, pero hindi ko masasabing kanais-nais ang lasa.

Kahit gasolina mapapainom ka basta si Solenn ang nag endorse.

Non-beer drinking women are probably more likely to drink cocktails and may be easier to persuade to drink shots (tequila, vodka, etc) since the main reason they refuse to drink beer is the taste.

Maliban pa rito, I think these women are more on the sophisticated side. They’re usually the ones with style and elegance to match their drinks. Siguro ang bad side nito, they are very self-conscious of themselves kaya mag-ingat ka sa sasabihin mo about their looks. Ayaw nilang maging yung mga babaeng nasa bar na mukhang lasenggang umiinom ng bote bote ng Red Horse.

What I think women who drink cocktails are saying:

“I don’t like the taste of beer eh. It’s so pait. Mas gusto ko pa yung hard and shots lang.”

3. Hard Liquor

“I heyt da tings dat meyk you hert. Haw I wish I kud take dem away. If only it kud be dun, I’ll do it por syur.” – sinasabi ni Trisha (Maja) habang naka-inom; kaya siya may slur

Most of the the people our age don’t really patronize local hard liquor. Mas mabenta lang talaga sa atin ang Absolut, Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels at iba pa. Pero dahil Filipino blog ito, hindi ko pag-uusapan ang mga taong umiinom ng foreign brands.

Dahil GSM Blue ang may magagandang endorser na gaya ni Maja Salvador, simulan muna natin dito.

Bago pa si Maja, si Anne Curtis ang naunang endorser ng ng GSM Blue. Hindi ko alam kung nagkaroon ba ng alitan sa kanila kaya sila nagpalit ng endorser, pero posibleng dahil ito sa pagsikat ni Anne at pagtaas ng kanyang talent fee.

But let’s focus on the drinks themselves and not the endorsers, shall we?

Now, what’s GSM Blue? Essentially, it’s just another kind of gin. Dahil ayaw nating mabansagang plagiarists, isa na namang excerpt mula sa website ng nasabing produkto:

G.S.M. Blue is a 65 proof sugar cane alcohol blended with essences of juniper berries and other botanicals.

Ayan, sana’y may natutunan kang bago tungkol sa iniinom mong gin. But unlike most hard drinks, no one I know really drinks GSM Blue straight on the rocks. Most people mix it with fruit juice or soft drinks to lighten the taste. And when that happens, I don’t think we can classify the people who drink those as “Hard Liquor” drinkers.

But what are we left with? Sa totoo lang, hindi GSM Blue ang pinaka-sikat na hard drink sa Pilipinas ngayon. Palagay ko, nasa taas pa rin ang Tanduay.

May malaking problema ka ba sa buhay at Tanduay Rum ang iniinom mo?

Alam nating lahat na hindi kadalasang iniinom ang Tanduay sa henerasyon natin. Pero meron ka pa rin namang makikita kahit papaano at ito ang walang pambili ng mamahaling imported drinks. Meron rin tayong konsepto na ang umiinom nito ay mga tatay at ninong natin na nag-iinuman sa labas ng bahay. Baka dahil sa konspetong ito kaya siguro hindi rin natin ito magustuhan, maliban sa napakalakas na amoy at lasa nito.

Sino usually ang mga babaeng umiinom ng mga ganitong hard liquor? Simple lang, ito yung mga pang tropa. Yung mga babaeng na-friendzone mo pero hindi mo lang alam. Ito rin yung mga babaeng magkamali lang kayo ng konte sa inom e malamang MOMOL ang bagsak niyo.

Minsan sila pa yung nag-aaya uminom at makikipag-cheers sa’yo. Ang maganda dito, these are the women who enjoy your company and are fun to be with. You may not find them physically attractive at first, but as you get to know them more, that’s when you realize their worth.

What I think women who drink hard liquor are saying:

“Dude, inom pa! Hindi ka pa lasing e. Lasing ka na? Edi inom pa lalo! Suka muna bago suko!”

What do you guys think? Do you agree? Disagree? Hit the comments and tell me what you think!

Follow me on twitter – @likeavirgil

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8 thoughts on “Ladies’ Drink

  1. Tungkol sa endorsement ni maja ng GSM Blue Light, hindi naman sa nagkaroon ng alitan… Maja was supposed to endorse a “lighter” GSM Blue. Nasa “Lahing Ginebra” commercial pa naman si Anne… I-consider mo pa na “morning drink” ang latest na ineendorse ni Anne ngayon (SanMig Coffee)…

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